Monday, June 18, 2012

The Name is Blonde . . .

The name is Blonde. Joy Blonde.

I have a secret. Since I was a kid, I've always been enthralled by detectives, spies, mystery, clever disguises, and undercover agent work.  So it was only fitting that when I was still just a child, I joined he ranks of the world's premiere undercover agency.

Nah, you wont find me in a spy kids movie, but you never know  in what kind of disguise I will show up next.  Since my initiation into the agency, I've worked in subtle disguises, such as a nerdy college student, an aspiring playwright, and a young technical writer. I've also assumed preposterous identities like that of an actress in the role of a first century woman and even a ridiculous juggling clown! (at least, I was  *trying* to juggle...)

I've infiltrated public schools with the subtle ideologies and behaviors of my agency. I've even swayed the opinions of college professors through stealthy conversation. The list goes on.

Why am I revealing this to you? Won't my cover be blown?
Nah.  Occasionally, a target finds out who I am, and even gets a hint as to my mission. But the cool thing is, it's ok. My clever disguises just have to get me in the door. One I'm there, my commissioner and I can take care of the rest.

I never know what to expect on these missions. Never can tell who I'll meet. But there's never a dull moment. Sometimes I find out about a mission months in advance. Sometimes, it's a last minute decision...a cry for help that brings me running onto the scene.

I am an Agent of heaven, commissioned by Jesus Christ. As of this point, I'm cleverly disguised as a college student.  My cover gives me access to locked classrooms and lecture halls, opens doors of distinguished professors' offices, and gives me a fantastic accessibility to thousands of hurting, needy young adults.

I have a few allies here and there, and I'm always thrilled to meet another. But for the most part, it's lonely, dangerous work, and if I didn't have complete faith in my commissioner, I'd be long gone from this business. But I love what I do, and I love the One for whom I do it. If it was easy, I wouldn't need all this special training, not to mention the disguises and social skills.

Oh, I almost forgot!

I'm writing this because we are in need of more agents. Desperately. The missions are abundant, but the agents are few. This is not a job for the faint of heart, but the rewards outweigh the difficulties by far. Oh, and by the way, just because you know the Commissioner doesn't mean you're his agent. This isn't a sissy desk job (not that desk jobs are sissy...I had one for a while!), it's a get-off-your-rear-and-change-the-world kind of job!

Don't worry about transportation...once you're on board, your commissioner will place you exactly where you need to be. (Although I'm still hoping he'll assign me to an imperial blue Camero!)

If you get bored, it's only because you haven't asked for a mission recently. Buck up and ask Him! You'll be in for the ride of your life before you can say Zerubbabel. ;)

I could go on, but I'll sum it all up by saying, I know for a fact, it's a choice you won't regret. Talk to the Commissioner, Jesus Christ, about it today. Call up Matthew 28:19 for more information from the Great Commissioner himself! Yes, my friends, act now, and Y-O-U could be a secret undercover agent, just like M-E!

No purchase necessary, sunglasses not included.


  1. I love this, LaJoie! You are very creative and witty and this was a pleasure as well as an inspiration to read. :)

  2. My name is Gray. Zany Gray.June 30, 2012 at 6:53 PM

    Bet you didn't know I'm really another young, attractive agent. Pretty good disguise, eh?
    Oh, and Happy birthday!
    (Yeah, I know it's not your birthday yet. Acting confused is all part of my gray-haired old lady persona.)
    Heh, heh ...
    Linda Bonney Olin