Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Love Talks: My Forgotten Love

There's nothing worse than unrequited love. 

When we see it in the movies, we think, "Oh, how selfish! He would die for her, but she turns her nose up at him!"  

In some ways, most of us have personal experience in this area, whether it was just a silly celebrity crush as a child, or a friendship you desperately hoped would become something more. 

But you know, as much as we have all experienced the feeling of being forgotten by someone we love, all of us have been on the other end as well.  If you're like me, there are times when you've given cold pricklies in exchange for warm fuzzies from someone who loves you like crazy. (And let's suppose, just for a minute, that this applies to more than just romantic love.) Often times the deepest bonds of unconditional love come not from romantic relationships, but from our family. (And thank goodness it is unconditional!)

I have to admit, I take my mom's love for granted. She does so much for me, and often times, I'm too busy to express my gratitude and love for her in return. But she keeps on loving me. You know, I'm sorry to say this, but if I had a boyfriend and treated him like I treat my mom, he'd have dumped me long ago. My mom puts up with a lot. But she loves me anyway. If my husband loves me like that someday, I'll have it made. No, I don't want to marry someone who's exactly like my mother. That would just be weird. But my mom's example of love has taught me a lot about what love really means. 

Then there's my grandmother. She continually tells me she "loves me so much it hurts!"  As her only blood-related granddaughter (she has foster grandchildren as well), I think it's safe to say I'm one of her favoritest people in the world. She talks about me to everyone she meets, and constantly reminisces about how she used to make pretty little finger curls in my hair.  But even though she lives next door and is for the most part a shut-in, I don't go to see her as often as I could. I even know how much it makes her day when I show up. But I don't make it a priority to go over there, or at least to give her a phone call to brighten her day.  If anyone on this earth adores me, it's her. And I love her too! She's the best grandmother a girl could ask for. But . . . it's sickening to realize that some days go by when she doesn't even cross my mind. Ew. What kind of a despicable person am I???

Maybe you think I'm being kind of hard on myself. 
Maybe you think I'm a terrible person.
Maybe you're saying "ouch" right now, because this is hitting a little too close to home.

Well, what you get out of this is up to you--I'm just writing this for my own benefit, and you get to eavesdrop on my personal scolding session. (No, it's not going to damage my self-esteem . . . I need a good solid lecture every now and then!) ;)

Lastly (you knew this was coming, didn't you?), I happen to know for a fact that "Mr. Right" does exist. And he's crazy about me. But I didn't have time to talk to him this morning.

Now, maybe you think, that's not so bad, maybe she had something to do early this morning. Nope. I just didn't feel like talking to Him. 

I hope you know I'm referring to the person I call my best friend, Jesus Christ. But you know, as far as friendships go, ours has been suffering. I haven't been all that busy this month, and if a good friend called me each evening, I'd talk to him or her for over an hour without a problem.  Without going into detail, suffice it to say that I haven't had many good, solid conversations with the One who loves me the most in recent days.

So now that I've told you about my problems, and you probably think I'm a tremendous hypocrite, how about what I'm going to do to fix them?

It all starts with that last one I mentioned.  When I make Jesus the center of my life and more important than anything else in my life, he's going to help me align all of my other priorities, the way they should be. 

You've probably heard this before. Joy comes when Jesus is first, Others are second, and You are last. 


Hm. No wonder I've been feeling a little down. My "Joy" was scrambled into "YJO" or "YOJ," which are both meaningless.  

So here's to abolishing unrequited love in my life. 
Here's to expressing, not just feeling, love for those who love me the most. 
Here's to getting my priorities straight.

I'm unforgetting my forgotten loves.
Are you?

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