Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Love Talks: The "Less-Shiny" Friend

For this "Love Talks" edition, I've decided to talk about friendships. Also, since I DIDN'T post a "Love Talk" on July 17th, be on the lookout for a SECOND surprise "Love Talks" post sometime during the month of August! :)  And now, our Feature Presentation. :D

I'm ADOLS.  If you've never heard of that condition, it's like ADD, except it stands for Attention Deficit OOH LOOK, SHINY!!!!

I am attracted to shiny, exciting things.  This carries over to my friendships, as well. I tend to want to be around hyper, fun-loving people who are a tad bit on the crazy side.

There's nothing wrong with hanging out with the "shiny" people, but sometimes, like a fish attracted to the shiny, metallic bait, it has gotten me in trouble. 

You see, some of the best, most loyal friends I've had over the years were the ones who weren't quite so shiny.  They didn't wear the most trendy clothes, they weren't bouncing off the walls, and they weren't necessarily as bubbly as some of the "shiny kids" were.

Oh, don't get me wrong...they were still fun, friendly, and wonderful people, and I loved spending time with them. But sometimes I was distracted from their steadfast friendship by a "shinier" friend who crossed my path.

It didn't always work out well. I've had some times when I've selfishly abandoned a loyal friend just to go after someone new. Later, however, I found that beneath all the hype was someone who really didn't care about me, but was just around to have fun or get something from me.

One time in particular, when I was pretty young, I began to spend nearly all my time hanging out with a girl who was older than me, dressed somewhat immodestly, had a rebellious streak, and just seemed "cool." I loved hanging out with her. She was an adventure.

But one day, out of the blue, she rather violently abandoned the friendship and left me dazed, wondering what in the world had gone wrong!  It wasn't anything I had done, she later told me. She just didn't care to be friends anymore. Well, today, she's gone down quite a different path from me. I haven't spoken to her in probably a decade, but from what I've heard of her, she's living a very loose life and is far from God.

What about the friends I left behind?  Well, though we aren't close friends now, I'm still in contact with some of my "less shiny" friends from way back then, and I know that they would be there for me if I needed them. I wish I could say I had been the same kind of friend to them.

On the bright side (or you might say, the shiny side!), I'm learning more about what it means to be a loyal friend every day. I pray that God will help me see the value in all of my friendships, and that I will continue to build and rebuild lasting friendships with people who truly care.

So my point?  It's NOT that you should avoid ALL "shiny people"...I tend to be that sort of person myself! (please don't avoid me!) ;) No, my admonition is this: Don't abandon the steady, loyal friends for those exciting, shiny people who may zip to and fro through your life. Be friendly to everyone, but know who your true friends are and stick by them no matter what!


  1. For a second, I thought you were going to steal my thunder. Great post, by the way. Shiny isn't always better. My Dad was at a jewelry store with my Mom shortly after they were married. This store had a mountain of fake diamonds. For each purchase, you could pick one off the mountain. Amongst the glass fakes, there were 5 real diamonds. My Dad was there twice and each time he came away with one of the real diamonds. How? He picked the ones that weren't as shiny. :)

    I will be submitting my other post shortly. It is a rather lengthy "follow-up" to the previous post I sent you. I am calling this one "Friendship is Forever". One more review and I'll probably call it done.

  2. I really enjoyed reading this blog. It seems to me that you got your message across well, and I completely agree that "shiny" is not always the best way to go about life--me probably being one of the biggest hypocrites of this. I had a while where I wouldn't hang out with people who I didn't think were "cool" (although I still tend to struggle with this a bit) and it is one of the most disheartening things to experience; it always feels like you aren't quite good enough and once you mess up once you are gone.

    But the people who weren't perfect nor trying to be perfect usually end up being the best bet, and I really appreciate them for that. Sometimes it just helps having someone who doesn't need to hide behind all that to help get you on your feet again.